My Dad

Yesterday would have been Dad's birthday. 18 years have gone by since his death and I still miss him terribly. My sister, Joan, asked me to write my favorite memory of him, but I cannot choose just one. So here are the things and events I remember best:

• When I was very small, walking with him on the farm, only able to hold his pinky in my fat little fist, and listening to him tell me about different things we passed. I felt so secure and happy.
• Snuggling with him and my brother Tom on Saturday mornings as we watched cartoons.
• Popcorn on Saturday nights - He held the big bowl and we all went to him for refills.
• Him staying home from work just one day that I can recall. He built snow tunnels with the big kids - Cathy, Joan & Mike.
• When he built a small ice rink for us little kids (me and Tom) because we were too small to walk to the pond.
• Snowmobiling through the woods as a family - Tom and I were in a sled of some sort being towed.
• Giving me a shot of whiskey after snowmobiling.
• Going fishing.
• How much he loved playing with Theresa on the floor when she was so little.
• How much he loved dogs - especially Chip.
• How he named all of our pets with nicknames that stuck (after we had already named them.)
• Taking family pictures at home (look right, look left, look straight ahead.)
• All of us wading in the ocean with him and ending up completely wet.
• Dinner - every night at the table.
• Going hunting with him - even though I think he knew I would never shoot anything.
• How he introduced competitive high-power rifle (target) shooting to me and how much I loved sharing that sport with him.
• His laugh and his smile.
• His rough calloused hands and holding them in church as we prayed "Our Father."
• How he looked at Mom when she wasn't watching - with so much love.
• When he helped his parents out and how torn up he was when we left their house the last time he saw them. He told me he was afraid that he would never see them again.
• When he taught me how to drive an old 1962 Ford Fairlane - 3 on the tree standard.
• Him driving on ice in Texas after a few drinks to get 10 for a $1 hamburgers at Burger King.
• His telephone calls before he left work every night: "Who is this? When's your mom getting home?"
• Him getting home from work every night: "What's for dinner? Where's your mom?"
• Him playing with his pet duck in Houston.
• How he took naps on the couch with a John Wayne movie on TV and a book resting on his chest.
• Him always working in the garage on some project with cuss words like "Jiminy Cricket, Sam Hill, and Son if a Gun."
• Him helping me with a college art assignment. We used PVC pipe to make a chair that didn't look like a chair. Believe it or not - that was the point of the project.
• How much he loved dancing.
• How much he loved Texas - he wasn't born there, but he got there as fast as he could.

I miss him so much and this little exercise was harder than I thought. As Richard recently said, it hurts so much because we loved so much.